Too much-ness
Hello Beautiful-
When “Too Much” Felt Dangerous
There was a time when being “too much” felt dangerous.
Too emotional.
Too expressive.
Too opinionated.
Too sensitive.
Too alive.
Too loud
So I learned to soften.
To quiet myself.
To take up less space.
To smooth my edges so others would feel more comfortable.
And for a while, that worked. Smallness can feel safe. It can protect you when your nervous system needs protection.
But there comes a season — and I feel I am in it now — when small no longer feels safe.
It feels suffocating.
A Lifetime of Colorado Winters
I’ve lived in Colorado my whole life. I know her winters. I know the rhythm of snow, thaw, mud, and bloom.
And yet, this winter felt different.
Long in some ways. Gentle in others. Winter has always been one of my harder seasons, and yet she has also been my teacher. She gave me permission to go inward. To create. To sit in the soil of myself.
Too Much-ness as Reclamation
And in that quiet, something surfaced during my morning journaling practice:
Too much-ness.
Not as a wound.
But as a reclamation.
What if the very thing I once quieted is the very thing that holds my aliveness?
What if “too much” is simply life force that has outgrown old containers?
Right now, we are waiting for our horse to give birth in the shelter we built for her. It isn’t perfect. We don’t have vast land or ideal conditions.
Anna’s winter shelter in Colorado — the imperfect but deeply loved space where we’re waiting for new life to arrive. Living the dream before it’s perfect.
There are “better” setups.
And yet — it’s ours.
A dream we chose to live before everything was ideal.
Does that mean we may one day call in more land? Less winter? A different chapter?
Perhaps.
But expansion doesn’t require dissatisfaction.
It asks us to fully inhabit what is — while staying open to what is becoming.
Choosing more doesn’t mean rejecting now.
It means refusing to shrink within it.
And here is the edge:
Choosing yourself can feel uncomfortable. Guilt often rises. Old stories whisper.
But guilt isn’t always a stop sign.
Sometimes it’s simply the sensation of growth.
The stretching of roots.
The cracking open of a seed.
Maybe “too much” is just bloom energy.
Maybe the world doesn’t need you smaller.
Maybe it needs you embodied.
So I’ll leave you with this —
Where have you been pruning yourself unnecessarily?
What part of you is asking to expand?
What would it feel like to live your life — right now — without waiting for perfection?
Your too much-ness might not be excess.
It might be the fuller expression of who you already are.
You Don’t Have to Shrink Here
If this stirred something in you…
If you’ve been feeling the edge of your own expansion…
I hold spaces for women who are ready to stop pruning themselves smaller.
Through Creative Soul Coaching and heart-led creative practice, we create space for you to expand into the fuller expression of who you already are.
You can explore my offerings here
or
You are not too much.
You are meant to Bloom.
With Love + Petals,